The Maynards in tribute to the Indians, in which you live, work and write this blog, I decided to cancel the card tradycyjego genealogy and family Maynardow present in the form of tribal structure. It is worth to note that I am probably the only person in the neighborhood, which speaks to our brothers already Redskins 'Indians'. All the others because they use the politically hiperpoprawnej form 'of the Native Inhabitants of Canada' as in everyday conversation sounds as diplomatically as idiotically. I think that even those referred to that is 'Canada's Native Peoples' Hearing this, full of hypocrisy term does not know whether it is laugh, or maybe to cry over it. At the end of the grandfathers of those who now celebrate August enjoin the Indians with kid gloves, even more so years ago, scored the same as for ducks Squamishow ...
Maynardow tribe is the oldest family in the village, it is said about them that came here before bizonami. Slyne with life and nature, and to defend the local tradition and the eradication of progress, who again and again trying to sneak into the settlement Southlands. Exactly, before moving to the review of this honorable house of representatives, we say a few words about their small homeland. Southlands is kiludziesiecio-acre patch of green sandwiched between Fraser River (one of the most important transportation waterways in Canada) and the British districts of Kerrisdale. Just thirty years ago at Southlands was said to be a barren swamp, which you should not at all fall into Vancouver. Due to its location below sea level and still floods, there could not lead any crop, the game does not also consisted of assumption mill or sawmill. Only in the late 80's, when the city began to get rich (mainly on the timber and rybolostwie), and heads of local potentates zakielkowaly dreams of their own villa with a huge garden, a completely new Southlands gained the status. And it is because while in other neighborhoods have been built already najmizerniejsze even scraps of free land, here, between distant from each other by many meters of houses, still reveled the wind and the road calmly walked deer, raccoons and coyotes. And suddenly all these forest creatures had to perform at the highest level of concentration, lest they lose the hitherto peaceful traktach his hairy life. For behold, the Southlands started nadciagac napedzone boom crowds Canucksow upstart in their field with suitcases full of brykach dollars. Going down 'the swamp', because only here can fulfill their dreams of reinforced zamczyskach, Japanese gardens and garages for four cars. They were ready to pay a fortune for a plot, then already a real fortune for the house. I really lacked a little, lest Their plan was successful. But their misfortune, they stood in the way Squaw Jen, wife of Chief Rick Maynard, yet bravest warrior in whole tribe. Jen quickly sensed what was coming, and as soon as she realized the Southlands in the traditional form can disappear in the blink of an eye took in my hand a pen and began to shoot it like to hold for many different letters to numerous institutions and offices of the , asking for help in the fight against the commercialization of her beloved. Surprisingly, she brought a lonely crusade yen due to a lot faster than she could expect. Office of the City decided to admit Southlands unique development plan according to which on each property from the house also needed to establish a Mandatory according to the proportional stable. Thanks to this, those who have not yet managed to cheat to buy land in the old rules had to either swallow the frog and try to live in the aroma of horse dung, or override the taste and to turn his luxury car back to the north. Consequently, the Southlands inhabit today: Maynard and others like them lovers of four hooves, the rich, who have horses of never had nothing in common, but in the name of a comfortable life, they decided to like, and the rich, who have both Maynardow somewhere and their horses, and care about them just the size of the pool and the largest number of bedrooms in the area roof. And in this way, both my neighbors are friendly and smiling grandfather Vilvangowie Larry Emrick, and never leaving the gray fort's biggest drug baron in Vancouver, and the wealthiest in the city you Aquilini. He lives here too Michael Greenburg, who used to be has produced "McGyver'a ', later married Sharon Stone, and today throws the manure from the fetlocks of a new stallion, his new wife, Nikki. And here comes an interesting anecdote: Nikki originating in South Africa before was Pania Greenburg, was a pilates instructor. Until one day I came to her on the classes of Mrs. Stone ... Fortunately, Rick
never has produced no 'McGyver'a', and Jen never have not practiced Pilates, also their marriage did not need to be exposed to similar attempts. Though you can not hide the fact that the family Maynardow as in Indian tends to be fun! Here are they:
Chief Rick and Manitou United Bjula (original spelling 'Beulah') Rick and Bjula a couple actually inseparable. Sometimes it is true that it happens to turn them back to back, but even then look at the world from the same perspective. Rick is the real boss of the tribe, and he appeals to the strings here, while Bjula his oracle, gray eminence of the family, who has an enormous influence on him and probably helps him in making all the most important decisions. He writes 'probably' because they communicate a code known only to himself, and it sounds something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XNlgwUNKjs&feature=related Chief Rick is the greatest friend of animals I've ever met. Wakes up at 5 am, feeding the horses, releasing ducks, chickens and goose, give them grain, then goes for a walk with soda and lemonade at the end serves zakolegowanemu kolibrowi. And earlier, in the middle of the night, wakes up in the silent movement of Great Bjuli outright, and daily between the second and the third brings me to the garden toilet. Chief Rick for many years now, is a vegan, in connection with the in our tepee not seen a smell fried fish or zbratasz with him eating together a buffalo's heart like Dances with Wolves with the wind in their hair. I dare say, he could our poor commander in zczeznac from that of their diet, if not 'helping' hand of his faithful squaw Jen. But about that later. Because now I have yet to mention the most recent gift to the Commander Rick suffering from dysplasia of the hind paws of Great Manitou Bjuli. Now the oracle of his fourteenth birthday, Rick sprezentowal her stroller and a ramp, obliging it to forget about self-wypruwaniu tripe when entering the ranks leading to the tipi. But the United Bjula underestimated this precious gift, and only once allowed herself to attach the stroller to my ass. Since then, when he sees it, immediately laid on the ground and goes dead, as it had in the habit of famous cat named Kit Grochow. Chief Rick loves Manitou United Bjule boundless love, but in his heart and mind always the most important was is and will be mentioned already Squaw Jen.
Squaw Jen fame of valor, courage and tenacity goes far beyond the boundaries of settlements Southlands. The life of Squaw Jen is no place for half measures, indulgence and the welt turned away from responsibility. It professes one rule in life: 'March on, March or gin', in connection with the outlawed scammers, kombinatorzy and white faces with dubious reputation from her grasp from afar. Like fans Lech Poznan, 'he loves me a few, most hated, afraid of everyone. " Squaw Jen is the perfect counterpoint to the Chief Rick. While he is calm, which provides, practical and full of mercy, she Explosion, and nieokielznaniem It could krwiozerczoscia shared among pol African jungle. However, all these warlike features disclosed only on the battlefield, while the tribe is a wonderful, warm and family man, devoted wife and wonderful mother. Although you can not hide the fact that both in the relationship with his three sons and venerable husband, often goes to deception, lest everything went as she so wishes. Consequently, poor Chief Rick did not even think how much is done in every blown: Well, Squaw Jen condemns his decisions about being a vegan cooking and Straw, daily smuggles it into his stomach some what, milk or cheese, and in addition to opening to admit it saying that 'and he was not at all familiar with the cuisine, and believed me, even I handed him a salmon, saying it was tofu ':-)
Hunter, Jordan and the stupidest dog in the world Soda Tarahumara north. The fastest and most perserve Indian I've ever Mother Nature has created. Like his Mexican cousins \u200b\u200bwith the Barranca del Cobre, is able to run day and night and do not miss it without a sweat. His nickname took away from that of their trips will never come back with empty hands. Last week, for example, ran along the busy Marine Drive, when suddenly the truck went off the passing him cardboard spicy sauce in a small Canadian bottles, and rocketed straight into his hands. Thanks to this the six days the whole tribe Zioni fire dragons like a bunch of Wawel. On another occasion in August chose a canoe with his faithful dog Soda Fraser up the river after the holy tree. But when he sailed to the end, Jordan realized he had forgotten saws, which nieprzyzwyczjona przemoknieta and the North American cold soda (it is the Australian Shepherd) broke down in August and wanted to drown his carcass in black and white along with the dreams of a lighted Christmas tree and warm fireplace. Then he spotted Jordan on the banks of the beautiful, wooden paddle. They came nearer, and overjoyed Soda christmas soon forgot about the disappointment, grabbed an oar in the mouth and do not let him go until the moment when it is jammed in the doorway maynardowego habitat. Was so ready to stand, and znuzylby I sleep, but Jordan decided to bring out the oppression of his canine companion, and turned the paddle to the vertical. End of the blankets, the whole adventure is not over, however, for Soda well, because the frames Napierala with such power that, when Jordan turned the paddle, she fell into the vestibule with so great impetuosity, that he had failed to slow down before a cabinet with shoes, and of the przywalila like a runaway ostrich present in the rock. The event stunned me so much that she spent the whole evening lying in a chair without moving, or about half an inch, and looking back with nostalgia at the soil with fire lighted the fire.
At this point let me digress, because speaking about ostriches, I can not recall a funny incident, which one day she met me and Laki Loka. We have a ride on horseback near a chicken farm in the White Grandfather Józka under the boat, when suddenly, in the middle of the box pops up in front of us on the road and the guy starts yelling and waving hands. We could not hear anything of what we wanted to convey in his spasmodic jazgocie because he was still a good piece from us, but we decided to take over the seriousness of the situation get out of the mare, and ask him what he meant. For a guy runs up to us and the whole red says: 'Jesus, thanks gentlemen that you are descended from the horses. Last time as the two like you przegalopowalo here, it made me almost led to bankruptcy. Because I'm an ostrich breeder, there is my farm. Well, you see, that night it rained, this was a downpour, with water up to our ankles. Morning I go out of the house, I go to the ostrich, but here goes these two pa-tam-tam pa, gaaalopem, ostrich frightened they begin to run it in a in the second. I yell: once in ostriches, once these things on horses, and these horses are getting faster and faster these ostriches. And as the others approached, the frightened ostrich head in the sand. Only you can see, like I said, there was only sand was water, everything flooded. Well, to me, whore, three quarters of the herd drowned! Until now, paying off those damn birds drowned. Thanks Gentlemen, but please do not galopujcie. 'And he left there, whence came the breeder ostriches, which has already never met later did not. And we got on our horses again only after he disappeared from our view the last big fluffy rump of kangaroo ... Besides
Chief Rick Bjuli Great Manitou, Squaw Jen, Hunters Jordan and Soda, Maynardow belong to the clan still duck Charlie (though she opposes the adoption malu and closer every day to her house than in our concrete tepees) and two sons, Rick and Jen. However, both Telf and Tik had already left the tribal slot: Telf Indian ideals betrayed, went over to the pale faces and deals with the expulsion redskins and trade their habitats, while Tik already many months ago, he went to the East to fight the Iroquois. And only from time to time sent us a telegram reporting on, how it acts hostilities. However, I suspect, from the Iroquois it was just an excuse, and really Tik rozkochal in water niewiastach fiery and beautiful from the East Coast and that is why he did back home in no hurry ...
greet you, dear children! HO HO HO
Maika St. Majk ;-)
second
... that is festive. I thought that perhaps I need to remind you how I look, because so little me here lately is that it would not be surprised if you began to wonder, "Why did I come here at all?" ;) 
